Congratulations! Your son just got engaged and you’re ready to help your future daughter-in-law plan her dream wedding. But what exactly is the role of the mother of the groom? And how involved are you expected to be? With etiquette rules shifting as both parents share more of the financial duties (or as couples fund their own weddings) it’s hard to know where to start. So before you jump in, follow our guide below for all of your mother of the groom questions – answered!
Mother of the Groom – Roles and Responsibilities
Congratulate the Bride’s Parents
First things first, reach out to the bride’s parents. If you don’t already have a relationship with them (and they live relatively close by) arrange an informal dinner or coffee date to meet and talk about how cute your kids are together. Or, if you can’t get together in person give them a call to introduce yourself and share congratulations. Wedding planning is always easier when everyone is on the same page. So establishing a good relationship early is always a good idea.
Help the Groom Create his Side of the Guest List
Once the bride and groom have decided on how many guests are allotted to each parental unit, you can start to create your portion of the guest list. Make sure you confer with the groom to make sure everyone on your list, would also be on his.
Fulfill Traditional Financial Roles
Wedding finances are one large grey area. Especially with more couples footing their own bill. However there a few items and events the groom’s parents are traditionally responsible for assisting him with. Keep in mind that none of these items are set in stone – and discussing your capacity for financial contributions early on is essential. Traditionally, these include:
– The Marriage License and Officiant Fee
– The Groom’s Outfit
– The Bridal Bouquet, Boutonnieres, and Mother’s Corsages
– The DJ/Band & Liquor
– The Honeymoon
Consult with Bride over Desired Tasks
If you’re anxious to be more involved in the wedding planning, tell the bride! It’s her job to delegate and divvy up tasks – so if you have something in particular you want to help with make sure she knows.
Host or Co-Host the Engagement Party and (later) the Rehearsal Dinner
Traditionally, the bride’s family hosts the engagement party and the groom’s family hosts the rehearsal dinner. But there’s no reason why they can’t both be a joint effort! Remember to try your best to compromise, while still keeping the wishes of the bride and groom at heart.
Consult with Bride & Groom over Ceremony Rituals
Let the bride know about any specific wedding traditions or religious rituals that you would like to see performed in the ceremony. The rule of compromise is strong here too. So pick the one that means the most to you and make your case accordingly.
Spread Registry Information
Since it’s considered gauche to include registry information on any of the invitations – it’s the job of the mothers and bridal party to spread the word.
Plan Day of Outfit with Mother of the Bride
Traditionally, the mother of the bride will choose her outfit first. She then will let the mother of the groom know the color, length, and formality so she can choose something complimentary. However, many moms are taking advantage of the time to bond and shopping together instead.
Participate in Mother/Son Dance
This sweet tradition is one you get to plan with the groom. The mother/son dance usually occurs before the father/daughter dance – which is then followed by cake. So choose a song that means something special to you and your son and boogie down on the dance floor!
And whatever role you play, remember to always keep the bride and groom in mind and you’ll never go wrong. Ready to start planning? Shop wedding stationery here!